Thou shall not sing with thy toddler. Thy toddler demands the spotlight.
Thou shall not talk to thy toddler while thy toddler is pooping. Ever.
Thou shall not help thy toddler even when it’s evident that they need your guidance.
Thou shall not cut food in a way that has been previously approved by thy toddler.
Always ask permission before peeling, cutting, or pouring any food.
Thou shall not zip thy toddler’s coat.
Thou shall not assume anything or adhere to reality.
Thou shall not tell thy toddler what will happen in the future. Thy toddler doesn’t understand time or directions.
Thou shall not ask thy toddler questions while thy toddler is watching aggravating shows like Curious George. Thy toddler is learning how to further their insubordination.
Thou shall not follow through with discipline. This will send thy toddler into a rage that will never end.
Thou shall not tickle thy toddler unless requested specifically by thy toddler.
Toddlers are amazing little creatures, aren’t they?