The Ten Commandments of a Toddler Parent



Thou shall not sing with thy toddler.  Thy toddler demands the spotlight.


Thou shall not talk to thy toddler  while thy toddler is pooping.  Ever.


Thou shall not help thy toddler even when it’s evident that they need your guidance.


Thou shall not cut food in a way that has been previously approved by thy toddler.

Always ask permission before peeling, cutting, or pouring any food.


Thou shall not zip thy toddler’s coat.


Thou shall not assume anything or adhere to reality.


Thou shall not tell thy toddler what will happen in the future.  Thy toddler doesn’t understand time or directions.


Thou shall not ask thy toddler questions while thy toddler is watching aggravating shows like Curious George.  Thy toddler is learning how to further their insubordination.


Thou shall not follow through with discipline.  This will send thy toddler into a rage that will never end.


Thou shall not tickle thy toddler unless requested specifically by thy toddler.


 Toddlers are amazing little creatures, aren’t they?



7 Comments Add yours

  1. Rebekah says:

    Lol! These are so true! 🙂

  2. Heather says:

    LOL this is adorable! One time Curious George taught my son how to unroll a whole roll of toilet paper in the bathroom…. thanks Curious George!

  3. Haha!! Too funny. They are amazing and complex little creatures. Mine sure keeps me on my toes.

  4. sue a allen says:

    Thanks for the good laugh! I can REALLY relate…and I think you pretty much nailed it!

  5. Andrea says:

    adorable! 🙂

  6. Blessed in the Mess says:

    My youngest is a two year old and WHOA–these are spot on! Thanks for sharing and making me laugh tonight. 🙂

  7. Alonda says:

    This is hilarious! Love it! Thanks for the laugh!

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