To My Sisters Walking in the Fire:
This post is not an invitation for pity. Instead it is my opportunity to heal through writing and offer comfort to those currently walking through the flames.
Lately I’ve felt the pressure to be “all better now” and possess the ability to enjoy my life as if nothing is happening inside my head. I mean, I’m taking meds and going to therapy. That’s the cure for depression and anxiety, right? I fantasize that people are dying to tell me to “get help and shut up about it already”.
Mental health doesn’t look the same as physical health.
The physical aliments are quickly noticed and treated while the mental disorders go overlooked and neglected.
Depression and anxiety are not easily “cured” for everyone. For me personally since taking medication I have been less depressed, but more anxious. It’s almost like taking one giant leap forward and three steps back.
There are some really good days when I feel happy and free. I cherish those days. But unfortunately there are also bad days. Days when I want to put my head in the sand and give up. Days where I am too anxious to leave the house with my children. Days when everything I do sinks like a lead balloon. Days when simple things overwhelm me. Days when I don’t want to be a mother. Days when I look at other mothers on Instagram and instantly the feelings of disgrace, disconnect and envy take root in my heart.
It’s on those hard days when I go to God. Where does my help come from? Ultimately on the worst days, my help comes from the Lord. He comforts me. He knows my anxious thoughts. He secures my feet. He leads me on to fight another hour, another week. He speaks to me through His word, prayer, music, and in my dreams. Every time I run to Him broken hearted, exhausted, and messy, He provides the perfect comfort that stops me dead in my tracks. He always leaves me speechless.
So yeah, life isn’t fair.
The unfairness of this world does not depreciate the goodness of God.
Some of us really struggle at times, and it can be hard to look past the pain and unfairness. But then when you do rise above your anguish, your eyes will be opened to see the mercy of a loving father who meets you right where you are. It’s a beautiful thing to rely on Jesus. When those challenging days come (and they will), I’m going to view them as an opportunity to grow in my reliance on God and trust in His promises to me.
Is there currently a struggle in your life? It doesn’t have to be depression or anxiety. It could be anything. Any pain, hurt, or challenge. I invite you to close your eyes and imagine holding that struggle in your hands. Then lift your hands to Jesus and He will take it from you. He will provide you with a peace that surpasses all understanding if you just let go and put your trust in Him. You are not alone. Let us hold your hand and walk through this battle together!
Let me pray for you!
If you have a prayer request that you feel comfortable sharing, please leave it below in the comments section.