Confessions of a FORMER BULIMIC: I am a wonderful creation


 This is a series of posts about how

God took my shattered self-image

and made me whole again.

 I am a Wonderful Creation

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

This verse is hard to say out loud in a moment of weakness. It was the hardest to say after I had my baby.  I’ll never forget that moment that I looked at myself in the mirror and cried because I couldn’t stand that frumpy lumpy body that stood in front of me.  I hated my new mommy look.

(For those of you who don’t know, most new mommies look a few months pregnant after giving birth.)

The insecurities got worse after my doctors visit the week after the birth.  I went into the oncology appointment feeling pretty good about myself.  I had lost 20 lbs., was wearing makeup and had on a pretty cute outfit.

Then while I was getting my blood drawn, the lady taking my blood asked, “How far along are you?”

My heart sank.
My eyes swelled up with tears.
I managed to say, “I’m 1 week postpartum.”
She apologized for what seemed like forever.
All I wanted to do was leave and find a way to be alone so I could cry.
I internalized that comment.  I let it get to me.

But then I shared my insecurities with my husband.  I told him that he couldn’t love my body and that I was disgusting.

I will never forget what he said in that moment.  Every insecurity was addressed and rebuked by the man I love most.
But it got me thinking about the way God looks at us, and the verse above.

He loves his creation.

He thinks we are wonderful.

We are made in his image.

So I need not be ashamed of my body, instead I should thank God for making me the way that I am…stretch marks and all.

I am who God says I am.
I am a wonderful creation.

You are a wonderful creation, just the way you are.




3 Comments Add yours

  1. Janell says:

    What a wise & loving husband! God looks at the heart.

  2. That verse has always challenged me as well. Even when I was thin…too thin, I struggled with not liking myself and what I looked like. It took me until my 40’s to understand that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful, you are amazing, and I am so thankful to have you in our family!

I would love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s